guys are better than girls... in my humble opinion

It's odd that the things I'm most proud of are things that I really didn't have any control over. Perhaps the things we can't control impact us the deepest.

If I had to name the things I'm most proud of (family aside), I'd say they're that I'm a guy and that I'm a southerner. You don't know me, but you know my type. I'm the average southern guy from a loud southern family who drives a Ford truck, knows good okra from bad okra, still isn't over The War, loves sweet tea, calls people y'all or ma'am or beau, and got his first erection thinking about Daisy Duke. That's who I am. I wrestled with shyness and spent years wondering if I wanted to be something else-- maybe I'd move to NYC and become an eccentric writer-type or head to LA and be a stage hand, but slowly and I've grown more proud of being an average guy in an average town.

I really love being a guy, and I don't believe girls feel the same. I hear fellas all the time saying they are glad they aren't a chick. Every guy alive loves the fact he can pee standing up, doesn't bleed every 28 days, and gets to impregnate rather than be impregnated. I mean male hygiene is a bar of soap; female hygiene is an aisle at Wal-Mart.

We take pride in being less-complicated even if women see us as simplistic and shallow. You can try to spin it into an insult, but simple is always better than complicated. An old episode of Northern Exposure said something like, "Men are controlled by their stomachs and their penises; those are two tangible things. Women much more complicated. They are controlled by things like love, hate, and rage." Women are too often too complicated.

I guess in most ways I'm an average joe who is proud to be a joe, but I think my neo-chauvinism goes deeper. I love everything about being a guy. I could go all Freudian on you, explaining my southern family ran by loud women and how it took me years to discover what it meant to be a man, but that is for another blog during another week. Suffice it to say that I am more proud now than I have ever been that I have a Y chromosome. Here are a few of my favorite thing about being a beau:

Driving down a wilmington road on a hot summer afternoon in my truck, windows down, no shirt. Freedom...

Getting naked in a locker room. I love the fact guys have little modesty and will let complete strangers see their stuff.

Opening doors, pulling out chairs, buying flowers, even killing bugs for a lady. I'm old-fashioned in that way and would hate someone to do that for me.

Sweating when I'm working outside or exercising. The say women don't sweat; they perspire. I love the feeling of being soaked in sweat after accomplishing something with my hands.

Going for a run on the loop Wrightsville beach with my shirt off. The feeling of cool wind hitting the sweat on your bare chest is awesome.

Wearing boxer briefs. I don't know why, but I love sitting on my couch in my nothing but my underwear; I think it's the idea of only wearing one piece of clothing.

I could go on and on about how guys have easier orgasms, about how not shaving is awesome, and about how I can be both gross and a perv and be seen as a normal guy. You may read thins and think I'm chauvinistic, close-minded, and shallow, but I guess that's just who guys are. Man, it's great to be a man.

-bo