real men do yoga?

One wise person once told me that we should do something everyday that stretches you. I don't do those kind of things often enough, but last week I did. I went to a yoga class.

Now let me explain. I have never done yoga before because I only knew of hot girls doing it. I even called ahead and made sure that guys did this kind of thing. Not that I mind being in a room full of girls in sports bras, but I’d like a few other men around or I’m one of the girls (something no straight guy wants to be). I also settled on doing hot yoga—where the room is over 100 degrees—because I hoped it would be a tougher workout and because I like looking at skin.

I pulled up in my old truck, as if Jethro Bodine had come to town. I was met at the door by an over-tanned, five-foot-nothin, ninety-pound woman that I knew could kick my rear (and would probably enjoy doing so). She checked me in, made me feel like an idiot more than once, and reminded me that I was supposed to be 15 minutes early and that I was not.

There was one other guy in the room, about 50 years old and overweight. The rest of the room was girls ranging from college coeds to hot moms. I’m not anymore of a perv than the next guy, but the lack of clothing and the intense heat made for plenty to look at. The ninety-pound woman barked out orders from the back wall and told me to watch the girls in front of me to know what to do… I just did what I was told. My shirt came off and in minutes I was drenched in sweat.

I love to work out. I lift, run, and bike, but I had never worked out like this. I was breathing hard, my muscles were shaking from strain, but more than anything it was really tough keeping balance. The sweat made it impossible to lock my fingers under my feet and keep in locked position. I loved the pace of yoga. You’d strain and breathe hard and then slow down to stretch and pull yourself back together. It’s not like running or lifting; you know you’re exercising, but it’s not an intense workout. It’s relaxing and strenuous at the same time.

So do real men do yoga? Those who know better than me say that 4 out of 5 people who do yoga are female. Why is that? I have four answers to that, after having experienced hot yoga myself.

1- I think it is mainly because it is easier for girls. The girl in front of me had to be one of the most limber people I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t bend like she did and I’ll never be able to. I halfway did one position when the boss lady came and folded me in half. I didn’t know I could do the position and she sure showed me I could (I’m somewhere between sorry for and jealous of her boyfriend). The points is that I think this kind of exercise isn’t what men in our culture are used to. So we avoid what we’re better at: weights and running. That’s what I do.

2- It’s weird being in a class with almost all ladies. The other guy in the class said that men come often but drop out quickly. I’m sure some guys come just to look at a room full of women in positions they have wet dreams about, but those guys won’t keep paying $15 for the experience. Plus an all-guy class seems a little too homoerotic for most of us. So women continue to come to the yoga studio and men hit the gym. It’s the American way.

3- In this culture we respect big arms and a built chest, not the ability to put your leg behind your head. Yoga focuses more on the latter. Don’t get me wrong, it wore out muscle groups that I often neglect (like upper back, quads, and butt), but in this culture we just care about big beach muscles. I’d love to try a combo of muscle-building exercises and yoga. That would be a complete program.

4- It doesn’t feel like real exercise. I love the sensation of my arms and chest being fatigued after 4 drop sets of bench pressing, but after this workout they weren’t tired, and honestly I missed that. I felt more like I had just gotten out of a hot tub than post-workout. It was different. After the class, I talked to the other guy as we were changing and he said that yoga has changed his life. I didn’t feel that. After running or lifting, I usually feel drained and worn down, but after this I felt refreshed. Weird.

So is yoga for men? I guess it can be. But it’s far more important for a real man to be able to bench press with 45’s on the bar and run a mile. That’s the test of being a real man. Will I do it again? Likely. But I’m not giving up real exercise. Some real men may do yoga, but the real men I know lift and run.

-bo